When a marriage is new, problems seem far away. But then we find ourselves in a troubled marriage and don't know what to do. If there was an easy answer, we would take it. If there was an action list to check-off, we would start at the top. But there are no easy answers and the steps to get a troubled marriage back on track are different for each couple. Relationship problems don't have to be a do-it-yourself project.

The decision to seek the help of a marriage counselor requires strength and courage. For the time-stressed or couples with young children, travel to a marriage counselor's office can be overwhelming. Ours is a challenging fast paced society but we have benefits as well. Online marriage counseling is available at the speed of the internet.

Today's online /telephone counseling with licensed professionals is convenient, anonymous and often much more affordable then traditional in-office visits. Marriage counseling over the telephone or internet removes the constraints of an office setting while giving you the help you need. But what can you expect from an online counselor?

Some individuals or couples may need just one or two sessions to help them get back on the road to the relationship they want. Others need more sessions to find the peace and joy they want in their marriage. Some couples go in and out of counseling for years, reaching out to their counselor during a time of emotional pain.

How do you choose the counselor that is right for you? First, ask for the licenses and credentials he or she holds. A therapist may hold a license in marriage and family counseling, psychology, or social work. If you have a specific relationship problem such as issues of a blended family, addiction, or infidelity, look for a counselor with that experience. How long have they been in practice? There is no right answer, but when you compare therapists side by side, it may help you choose.

Tips to get the most out of marriage counseling:

1. Don't wait. The best chance of having the marriage they want goes to those couples who take action as soon as they notice a problem. Years of resentment, hurt feelings, and communication issues take time to resolve. To get the most benefit out of online or telephone marriage counseling, seek help early.

2. While it's best to work on relationship issues with both partners, it doesn't have to be that way. If your spouse won't admit there is a problem, or won't agree to counseling, go yourself.

3. Be prepared. The counselor will need to know some background and history of your relationship. Think through some of the issues before you make contact. Identify specific problem areas and write them down. When emotions and hurt feelings run deep, it can be hard to even name the problem. Your counselor can help you identify your problems, but you will get the most out of your session with a little thinking, and note taking, beforehand.

4. Be patient. Relationship problems take time to develop and marriage counseling will take time and work to heal them. Don't expect to sprint from the starting line to the goal, but rather enjoy the successes at each step as you make your way to finding the security, peace, and joy that you want in your marriage.

Remember that your intention of having a partnership that is healthy and growing for the both of you. Seeking out a neutral 3rd party will allow you the space and wisdom to get on that track.