Why is it that relationships fail? That's a question we often find ourselves asking, especially in this day and age when it feels like healthy relationships are nearly impossible. We see high-profile marriages fall apart, seemingly "perfect" couples that don't make it, and we wonder, what chance do we have?

The reality is that behind nearly every failed relationship there exists a commitment or intimacy problem. Sometimes these issues are conscious. One or both partners were never really committed to a successful relationship in the first place. More often, the issue or issues lie on a subconscious level; "I don't deserve a healthy relationship.", "He'll only wind up hurting me.", "She's only after my money.", "I'm a bad person." We may not be thinking these things out loud, but these underlying feelings are discovered when we seek counseling or help to discover the reasons why we repeatedly fail.

Why do we repeatedly find ourselves in abusive or unhealthy relationships? Why do we gravitate towards or always attract the same "bad type"? Why do we always wind up with a person who needs to be "rescued" or otherwise has serious personal issues to deal with? Quite often, the simple answer is that we are simply protecting ourselves from real intimacy by dooming ourselves to failure.

We might also fear commitment because of the responsibilities of a relationship, or because we believe that we may have to change ourselves or change others. We may feel that we will lose our personal identity, or have to give up other things we love. We may even fear that we will simply make the same mistakes over again.

But unraveling why we feel the way we do and what lies at the root of these feelings requires the help of a professional therapist or counselor.

Traditionally, we would seek out personal counseling in an office or practice, but with the rapid advancements in Internet technology, many very good options for online help are available, including live, immediate and confidential phone therapy session with a chosen mental health professional. Many people who have successfully unlocked their own intimacy or commitment issues with relationship counselors on the phone or via email. These options are often more comfortable and convenient, and may even provide services where none are available. We can seek help in our own homes at our own schedule, at times when things are quiet or less hectic without any interference in our jobs or family.

The fact is, you CAN have healthy relationships, and you can certainly find answers to our personal questions and struggles.